wow, im spoiled.

so here's a fun story. im out in my backyard on a comfy chair, reclined with my feet up on another comfy chair. its a perfect day- an absolutely perfect day. sunny with a slight breeze, clear blue sky, warm enough to lose the shoes and shirt. im shaded by an umbrella, ive got my familys spare laptop on my tummy and one of our kittens curled up on my feet. im trying to think of something to journal about, and i start looking around. a robin is diving down into the bird fountain to take a bath and his birdy friends whistle as he does so. the green leaves on the branches of the trees around me are dancing and swinging. a small puffy cotton ball cloud is floating off in the distance above rolling hillocks. the kitten is purring. the robin hops back up on the fence and ruffles and shakes his feathers to dry off before preening them carefully. i focus my eyes on the ground and see tiny insects, usually unnoticed, crawling about and doing their business. the cool breeze is causing tiny ripples to travel in interesting patterns across the surface of the pool beside me. i realize that on my lap im holding a small plastic tablet, which we call a laptop, that lets me communicate wirelessly with people hundreds of miles away at a whim. and do a bunch of other crazy cool things. a squirrel in a tree is yelling at one of our other kittens to stay away from him and his acorn. my backyard alone is so full of life. i look around, and life is freaking amazing. do we notice this? if we do, do we care?

so i start typing.

^"8 Taste and see that the LORD is good;
blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.

⁹ Fear the LORD, you his saints,
for those who fear him lack nothing." - Psalm 34

and i think about how ridiculously blessed i am. he has shown me that he is good in so many ways. just living in america puts me in the top 1% of wealth in the world, and living where i do in almaden puts me in the top 1% of that highest 1% of wealth. im freaking blessed. god really does cause my cup to runneth over, and over, and over. i have so much more than i need, more than i could even want for that matter. i dont deserve any of this. there is so much poverty and hurt in my lifetime, people have nothing, and my life is so so so good.

and as im writing and thinking, i begin to wonder if in the midst of all that i do have, is god the most important to me? do i truly believe that i could have ONLY him, as in having literally nothing to my name (possessions, family, friends, clothing, food, dewlling, transportation, anything!) except knowing god, and that even then i would be lacking nothing in my life? could i really do without the rest, keeping only my relationship with him?

or has my unimaginably huge store of blessings from god become a storehouse of distractions from him?

and heres the best part. as im lying outside thinking over all this, the laptop on my tummy that im typing on shuts off. it wasnt out of battery, i didnt press any buttons, it just shut off. and i tried to turn it back on but it wouldnt start. i immediately heard from god to stop, put everything aside, and be with him. to look around more and see just how blessed i am. so i sat with god.
other people in this world have so little. and i have so much. TOO much. but all the busyness and technology and opportunities that god has been blessing me with have been distracting me. the one who blesses should always be appreciated more than the blessing itself.
and as i sat, i realized i needed to praise god, so i grabbed my guitar from inside and returned to my seat. i dont know how many hours i spent sitting in silence with god, looking at his creation, and singing praise to him, but today was indescribable.

thank you, thank you, thank you, O lord of heaven and of earth, for your love. i love you too.