ill

"We are accounted righteous before God, only for the merit of Our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, by faith, and not for our own works or deservings...Holy Scripture containeth all things necessary to our salvation." - The Thirty-Nine Articles of Religion, 1563.

a bit from the readings in my religious studies class. currently in the english reformation and catholic counter-reformation. i like the class despite the countless hours of sleep i've lost over it.

i have not written here as much as i would have liked this quarter. it's been busy though. i've finished reading Out of the Silent Planet, Beowulf, Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, and i'm starting on Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire. all of them are excellent. i also read a really interesting short story called The Last Question by Isaac Asimov but i'm still not too sure how i feel about it. oh, and then there's the reading for school, too. a LOT of it. but whatev. had to quit rugby cause of my back and schedule conflicts, but hopefully i can get back out there in a year or too. oh and more recently, i am sick. really, truly sick. i have no idea what it is. started about two weeks ago, just an ear/nose/throat thing which i've had literally hundreds of in my life so nothing drastic. it got better that week, then that weekend i randomly wake up with my eyes stuck shut with icky crusty stuff (yuck) and completely bloodshot. weird! that got better through the week, so did my throat. then this thursday rolls around, i got to bed feeling fine, but my roommate (who by the way is great guy, and whom i am very grateful for) tells me through the night i woke up groaning and shaking and sweating. huh? that morning my eyes are messed up again, crusted and red, and my throat is hurting worse than ever in my life. seriously so bad that i could only swallow a bit of water and medicine all of friday. AWESOME. feeling a little better today, but now my body is super achey and my throat is still excruciatingly painful. wish i could go to student health but it's closed til monday. advil, day/nyquil, chloraseptic, prayer and more advil will have to hold me over til then. sucks. but enough of that.
anyways...feeling pretty distant from god lately. praying to hear his voice, feel his touch, anything really at this point. i'm kinda desperate. i'm looking and listening and waiting but coming up with nothing over and over and over. so, here i am god, again asking for more of you. i'll continue looking to your word and praying, but honestly, please feel free to interrupt me at any point. seriously, anything would be great, like your voice, an earthquake, a lightening bolt through my room, you know? something. anything.
blah.